"You wanna party, baby?"
Torquemada's hands land on Miguel's chest and slide down to the top of his shorts and catch there. He is holding on to him, pulling him into the darkness. Torquemada pulls him away from the glass because he doesn't want the others to see Miguel give in like this. He knows in the morning, if he gets shit - real shit - it will only push him farther away.
"Kiss me," Torquemada asks.
Miguel rolls his eyes. "Just get fuckin on with it," he demands.
"Sweetie. You might have convinced yourself of some other reason you are about to do this, but I need to know that - you - have made your choices. Each step we go, you are going to make the choice. I want you to kiss me before that shit hits your head. "My sweet," Torquemada's hands slide down to Miguel's hips and press him hard. His forehead is against Miguel's so his words are coming down right next to his mouth, "You are gonna have to kiss me."
What the fuck, Miguel thinks. He can't decide if it's a mind fuck or if he really just wants to make sure he's not doing something Miguel doesn't want. Ok, he agreed to this scenario - fast and get it over the fuck with he thinks. He turns his head up, but just as he does Torquemada takes his finger and traces his mouth and tells him not to do it if he's not hard.
Fuck. O.K. so he's hard. It doesn't mean anything, Miguel thinks. The finger circles tighter on his lips so that Miguel can taste the salt sweet flavor of his skin. When he pulls the finger out, Miguel feels Torquemada's cheek next to his. Miguel puts his hand on Torquemada's face and turns it in. OK. Fine. He says. He plants a small kiss on Torquemada, his lips barely parted.
As he does this Torquemada brings his hands up behind Miguel's neck. He kisses back soft, his lips barely parted. He waits a second at the end lingering to feel Miguel's mouth part just a little more, he tilts his head and goes for a full kiss, his hands full extended and encompassing Miguel's back so that he is surrounded. He backs him against the wall, so that he can feel Miguel's hard on against his leg. His hands moving all over his back and his chest.
********
"Just kissing?"
After two hours of kissing and petting and Torquemada licking and licking, Miguel's cheeks are raw and he is feeling drowsy with the drugs, but damn he has got a fucking hard on? he keeps wondering if Torquemada is going to blow him? and then he thinks what am I thinking - and then he wants a blow job again. They have moved to Miguel's bunk, Alonzo against the wall and Miguel flat on his back.
Torquemada pulls back and puts his head on his hand.
"Sugar, I told you - each step of the way you have to choose. Now that your head's full of D - I have no way of knowing what you choose - so I am sticking with what I know for sure."
Miguel was relieved on one hand. Nothing he didn't want. Respect. On the other hand, he had a huge fucking hard on. He tries to explain this predicament but the words just came out incomplete and stuttery. Torquemada laughs. He knows what Miguel wants.
"Honey - you can take care of it yourself, I don't mind. I like to watch. I am a very good watcher."
"No friggin way."
"Baby - I'll help you along," Torquemada says with a crooked grin.
Torquemada puts his hand on Miguel's arm and directs it down his pants. He strokes his arm trying to get him to move with the rhythm. "Tell me what it feels like baby. Tell me what it feels like to touch your fucking beautiful body. Do you want to come?"
"Yes...yes."
Torquemada nuzzles into the pillow so his mouth hovers just of Miguel's neck. "It must be so hard, baby. Mine is. Oh god. I wish I was touching it. I would..." and Miguel comes. It didn't take much after two hours of foreplay. Miguel is a little embarrassed that he came so quick..."I usually..."
"Shhh, baby. You just gave me hours of pleasure. Shh."
*********
Torquemada pulls Miguel to him so that they are spooning tummy to back. Miguel can feel that Torquemada still has a full erection and it's pressing against his bottom cheek.
"Why in hell would you still be a virgin?"
"Miguel, really, you know where we have lived... who am I to have there? Some girl with her boobs pressed up to her chin, a fag hag, a drag queen? No, baby. No. I wanted you and all the boys like you. All sinewy and manly. I wanted you all. but what would you have done if I had come on to you like I have - out there - on the street?"
"I'd have killed you," Miguel says a little too laconically - he feels bad the minute he says it.
"Yes, you would have - or maybe if we done something and you'd liked it a little, like tonight for instance, and maybe someone found out...maybe you and the boys would have found me, stabbed me 32 times and cut my right eye out. Maybe that's what you would have done." Torquemada runs his fingers through Miguel's hair.
Miguel has nothing to say to that. It could have been him. It was true.
"But not here. Not in Oz. In this pit. You are beautiful and you are here and I will walk out of this pod tomorrow fearing no one, just because I want you."
"Stop calling me beautiful." Miguel leans forward and around - so that Torquemada gets that he means this.
Torquemada runs his nose down Miguel's neck. "All right, sweetie. For tonight I will just think it, not say it."
Miguel rolls his eyes and puts his head back on the pillow. Feeling Torquemada's hard on but feeling no pain.