Enrique comes out of the kitchen holding a heavy-looking garbage bag, the neck of a wine bottle sticking out the top. “How many weeks do you suppose this represents?” he asks Alonzo.
Alonzo eyes it carefully. “Three,” he guesses.
“One.” And that’s just what you’ve been drinking here is what he might have tacked on a month or so ago, but they’d had this conversation enough times that both of them were sick of it.
“Annette’s gonna be Catwoman,” Alonzo says to change the subject.
“What?” Glass clanking as he tosses the bag in the recycling.
Alonzo waits until the noise ceases, then repeats, “For the Halloween party at Dino’s on Saturday. She’s going as Catwoman.”
Enrique reappears. “Okay.” He crosses his arms, leans against the doorway. “Why’s that a problem?”
Alonzo considers him for a moment, then thinks, fuck it, doesn’t matter anymore. “I was gonna be Catwoman.”
Enrique doesn’t react to this news, just keeps staring Alonzo down. “You don’t have the tits to be Catwoman,” he says finally. Alonzo huffs.
“Neither does Annette.”
Enrique just shakes his head and goes back into the kitchen; Alonzo springs up to follow him. “I had the costume and everything,” he complains. “Well, nearly. And she knew I wanted to be Catwoman. And she went and bought the dress anyway.” Alonzo covers his face with his hands. “Catwoman doesn’t even wear a dress,” he says through gritted teeth. “She wears a catsuit. Because she’s a cat.”
“Just be something else. Coffee?”
“Like what? The party is in three days.” He collapses into a chair, staring dejectedly at the table before realising Enrique is still holding out the coffee pot, eyebrow raised. He nods glumly.
“I dunno. Be Batman.”
Alonzo makes a gagging noise.
“Don’t do that. Use your words.”
“I don’t wanna be Batman, and even if I did, it’s out of the question.”
“Why not.”
Alonzo sighs aggressively. “Because Batman and Catwoman are fucking.”
“Alright.” Enrique finishes setting up the coffeemaker, turns it on. Sits down at the table across from Alonzo while it makes its horrible heating up noise. “What do you want me to say.”
Alonzo ponders this for a moment. “Say I look nice,” he decides.
“Okay. You look nice.”
“Say you like living with me even though I drink too much.”
Enrique sighs, rubs at his temples.
“Say I’d make a better Catwoman than Annette.”
“No.” He gets up, opens a cabinet to grab the mugs.
“But it’s true,” Alonzo whines.
“Not my call.”
“But it is.”
“Look, I don’t wanna get involved, alright? I tell you your thing, you go rub it in Annette’s face, she gets up in my face. I don’t want that drama, for something that, ultimately, I don’t give a shit about. I’m not getting in between my sister and –” He cuts off as he opens the refrigerator. “Milk?”
“Your sister and what.”
“You want milk or not?”
“And sugar. Your sister and what.”
Enrique is silent as he pours the coffees. Alonzo kicks at a chair leg impatiently.
“Don’t do that.” He hands Alonzo his mug, sits down again. “What do you want me to say,” he repeats.
Alonzo shrugs. “Whatever’s true.”
“You already know.”
Not really, Alonzo thinks, but doesn’t reply, just sips his coffee delicately. “What are you going as,” he says to change the subject.
“Nothing. I’m not going.”
“Angelo’s going.”
“Okay. Good for Angelo.”
“You ain’t jealous?”
“Of Angelo? Not really, no.” Enrique studies him. “Should I be?”
“Angelo would say I’m a better Catwoman.”
“Yeah? Then go fuck Angelo.” Alonzo kicks at the chair leg again, and Enrique reaches across the table to grab his wrist. “Hey!”
Alonzo yanks it away. “Would it kill you to be nice to me?”
“Shut the fuck up. I am fucking nice to you.” He flips over his hand, and Alonzo reluctantly takes it. “Now. Who else is in this fucking movie?”
“Dunno,” Alonzo mutters.
“You don’t know.”
“Haven’t seen it.”
Enrique looks away for a moment, squeezes his hand – then nods and takes a long drink of his coffee. “You haven’t seen it,” he repeats, setting the empty mug back down. “Alright.”
“Saw the poster. Thought she looked cool. I got a suit kinda like that, could modify it.” Alonzo dips his finger in his own coffee, lifts it out, letting it drip back into the mug.
“Alright. Here’s what’s gonna happen.” Enrique lets go of his hand, gets up from the table. “You’re gonna get your coat. We’re gonna go to the video store, we’re gonna rent this fucking movie, and you’re gonna pick someone else.” He spreads his hands. “That sound good to you?”
“Annette should pick someone else,” Alonzo says after a long pause. “Was my idea first.”
“Yeah, well, good fucking luck with that. I known that girl her whole life, and once she makes up her mind, that’s it.” He claps Alonzo on the shoulder as he passes. “C’mon. Be the man here.”
Alonzo pouts, then asks, “Can we –”
“We’ll pick up drinks or whatever on the way back. Get your coat.” Enrique mutters something else under his breath as he walks off. Alonzo smiles slightly.
“You gonna pick someone too?” he calls as he gets up himself, taking both mugs to the sink.
“No.”
---
A/N: #and then they watch the movie and he realises he was meant to be christopher walken's character all along #enrique: don't you have a suit like that already #alonzo: not exactly #enrique: I think you do. exactly like that #alonzo: the stripes are a different color #[they look at the suit after the credits roll] [the color difference is imperceptible]